How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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