How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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