How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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