How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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