How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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