How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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