How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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