How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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