How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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