How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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