How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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