How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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