How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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