How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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