How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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