How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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