How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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