How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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