How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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