How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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