How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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