How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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