How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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