How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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