How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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