How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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