How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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