How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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