How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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