How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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