How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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