How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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