How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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