How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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