How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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