How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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