How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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