How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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