How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis

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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.

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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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