How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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