How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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