How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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