How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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