How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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