How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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