How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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