How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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