How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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