How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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