How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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