How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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