How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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