How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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