How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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