How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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