How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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