How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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