How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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