How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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