How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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