How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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