How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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