How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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