How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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