How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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