How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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