How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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