How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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