How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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