How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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