How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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