How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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