How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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