How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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