How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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