How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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