How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.

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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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