How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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