How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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