How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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