How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish

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Why does the Easter Bunny have a shiny nose?

His powder puff is on the wrong end.

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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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