How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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