How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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