How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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