How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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