How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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