How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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