How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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