How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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