How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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