How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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