How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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