How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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