How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops

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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!

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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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