How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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