How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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