How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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