How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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