How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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