How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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