How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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