How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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