How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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