How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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