How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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