How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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