How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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