How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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