How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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