How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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