How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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