How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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