How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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