How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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