How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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