How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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