How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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