How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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