How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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