How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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