How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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