How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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