How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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