How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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