How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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