How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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