How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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