How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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