How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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