How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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