How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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