How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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