How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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