How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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