How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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