How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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