How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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