How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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