How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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