How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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