How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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