How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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