How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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