How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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