How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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