How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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