How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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