How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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