How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.
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