They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
or
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
or
How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
or
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
or