How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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