How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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