How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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