How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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