How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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