How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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