How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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