How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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