How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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