How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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