How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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