How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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