How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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