How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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