How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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