How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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