How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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