How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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