How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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