How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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