How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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