How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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