How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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