How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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