How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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