How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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