How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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