How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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