How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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