How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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