How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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