How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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