How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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