How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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