How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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