How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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