How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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