How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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