How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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