How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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