How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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