How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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