How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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