How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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