How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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