How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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