How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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