How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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