How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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