How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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