How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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