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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?
He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?
A swordfish
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
She ran away from the ball.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?
A box of quackers.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?
Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?
An astronut.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?
Camembert.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
But that's just nuts
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?
Booberry pie!
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