How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?

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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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