How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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