How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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