How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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