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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did one cow say to the other?
Mooooooove over
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?
Donald Trump.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?
He was in shock for a week.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?
Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?
The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?
No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?
A shampoodle
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