How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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