How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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