How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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