How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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