How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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