How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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