How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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