How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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