How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!

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