How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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