How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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