How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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