How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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