How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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