How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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