How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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