How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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