How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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