How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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