How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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