How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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