None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
or
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
or
Wet.
or
Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
or