How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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