How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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