How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.


GOOD		CRAP

or

My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"


GOOD		CRAP

or

A nail.


GOOD		CRAP

or

The police had to comb the area.


GOOD		CRAP

or

The fish.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Accountants know they're boring.


GOOD		CRAP

or

To get to the body shop.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.


GOOD		CRAP

or

He made an illegal ewe turn.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.


GOOD		CRAP

or