How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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