How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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