How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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