How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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