How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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