How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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