How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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