How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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