How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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