How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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