How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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