How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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