How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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