How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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