How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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