How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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