How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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