How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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