How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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