How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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