How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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