How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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