How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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