How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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