How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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