How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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