How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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