How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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