How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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