How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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