How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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