How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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