How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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