How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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