How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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