How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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