How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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