How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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