How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?

Snowbody!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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