How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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