How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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