How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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