How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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