How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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