How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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