How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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