How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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