How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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