How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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