How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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