How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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