How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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