How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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A seal walks into a club...
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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