How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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