How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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