How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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