How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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