How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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