How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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