How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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