How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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