How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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