How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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