How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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