How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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