How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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