How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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