How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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