How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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