How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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