How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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