How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.

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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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