How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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