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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?
Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?
Use a pen.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?
It needed a root canal.
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How does the ocean say hello?
It waves.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How is a dog like a telephone?
It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of band can't play music?
A rubber band.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
It gave a little wine
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,
if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."
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