How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

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