How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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