How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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