How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.


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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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