How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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