How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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