How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

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