How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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