How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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