How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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