How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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