How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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