How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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