How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.


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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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