How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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