How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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