How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.

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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut

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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.

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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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