How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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