How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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