How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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