How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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