How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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