How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.

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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.

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