How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)

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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"



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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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