How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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