How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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