How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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