How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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