How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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