How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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