How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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