How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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