How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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A seal walks into a club...
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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