How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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