How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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