How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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