How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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