How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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