How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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