How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.

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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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