How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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