How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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