How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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