How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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