How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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