How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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