How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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