How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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