How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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