How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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