How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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