How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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