How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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