How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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