How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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