How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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