How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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