How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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