How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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