How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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