How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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