How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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