How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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