How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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