How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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