How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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