How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!

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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.

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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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