How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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