How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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