How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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