How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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