How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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