How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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