How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.

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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel

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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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