How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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