How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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