How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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