How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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