How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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