How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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