How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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