How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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