How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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