How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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