How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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