How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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