How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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