How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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