How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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