How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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