How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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