How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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