How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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