How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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