How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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