How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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