How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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