How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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