How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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