How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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