How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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