How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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