How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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