How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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