How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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