How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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