How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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