How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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