How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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