How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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