How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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