How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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