How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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