How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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