How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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