How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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