How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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