How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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