How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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