How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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