How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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