How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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