How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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