How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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