How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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