How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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