How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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