How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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