How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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