How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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