How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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