How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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