How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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