How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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