How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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