How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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