How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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