How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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