How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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