How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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