How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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