How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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