How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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