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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. It turned itself in.
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How do you make a goldfish old?
Take away the g
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?
Anywhere it wants to
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?
Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
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What did one ion say to the other?
I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?
A chili dog on a bun.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?
Hi school.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?
A car only has one horn.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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