How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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