How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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