How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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