How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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