How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What can you hold without using your hands?

Your breath!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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