How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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