How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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