How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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