How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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