How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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