How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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