How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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