How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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