How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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