How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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