How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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