How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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