How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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