How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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