How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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