How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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