How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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