How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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