How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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