How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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