How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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