How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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