How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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