How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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