How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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