How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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