How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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