How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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