How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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