How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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