How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What does the toast wear to bed?

Jammies!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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