How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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