How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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