How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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