How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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