How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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