How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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