How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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