How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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