How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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