How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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