How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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