How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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