How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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