How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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