How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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