How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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