How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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