How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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