How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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