How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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