How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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