How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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