How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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