How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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