How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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