How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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