How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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