How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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