How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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