How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.

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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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