How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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