How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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