How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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