How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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