How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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