How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.

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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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