How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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