How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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