How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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