How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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