How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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