How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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