How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze

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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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