How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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