How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.

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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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