How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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