How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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