How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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