How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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