How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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