How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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