How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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