How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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