How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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