How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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A seal walks into a club...
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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