How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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