How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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