How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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