How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.

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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies

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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!

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