How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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