How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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