How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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