How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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