How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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