How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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