How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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