How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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