How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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