How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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