How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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