How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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