How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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