How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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