How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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