How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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