How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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