How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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