How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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