How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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