How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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