How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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