How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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