How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.

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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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