How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?

It ran out of juice!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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