How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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