How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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