How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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