How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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