How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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