How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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