How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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