How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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