How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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