How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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