How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.

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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.

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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.

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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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