How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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