How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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