How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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