How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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