How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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