How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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