How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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