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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have machines to do that now.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?
To the mooooooovies.
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poke her face.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?
A cheetah
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But the guitarist has to show him first.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?
The hundred yard dash.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?
A polygon
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