How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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