How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

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