How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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