How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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