How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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