How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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