How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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