How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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