How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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