How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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