How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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