How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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