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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?
In Washington, D.C.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?
Polar Bond.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.
Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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Why do cows go to New York?
To see the moosicals
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