How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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