How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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