How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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