How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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