How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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