How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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