How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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