How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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