How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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