How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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