How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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