How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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