How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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