How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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