How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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