How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?

To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.

Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.

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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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