How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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