How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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