How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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