How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.

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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?

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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop

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