How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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