How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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