How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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