How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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