How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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