How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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