Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
or
To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
or
Stairs.
or
The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
or
Chile.
or
"Pint please, and one for the road."
or
it was Wedgie Kray.
or