How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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