How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!

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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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