How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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