How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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