How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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