How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.

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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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