How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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