How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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