How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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