How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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