How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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