How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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