How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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