How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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