How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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