How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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