How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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