How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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