How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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