How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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