How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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