How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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