How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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