How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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