How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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