How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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Why did the basketball player bring his suitcase to his game?

Because he traveled a lot.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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