How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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