How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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