How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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