How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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