How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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