How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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