How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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