How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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