How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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