How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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