How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!

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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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