How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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