How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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