How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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