How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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