How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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