How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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