How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.


GOOD		CRAP

or

How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.


GOOD		CRAP

or

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.


GOOD		CRAP

or

I said, "Are you two an item?"


GOOD		CRAP

or

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.


GOOD		CRAP

or

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.


GOOD		CRAP

or

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."


GOOD		CRAP

or

The letter G.


GOOD		CRAP

or

Senator.


GOOD		CRAP

or

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.


GOOD		CRAP

or