How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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