How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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