How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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