How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.

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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.

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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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