How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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