How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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