How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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