How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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