How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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