How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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How do Eskimos make their beds?

With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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