How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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