How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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