How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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