How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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