How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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