How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the boy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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