How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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