How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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