How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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