How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .
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