How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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