How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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