How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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