How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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