How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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