How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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