How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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