How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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