How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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