How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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