How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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