How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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