How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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