How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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