How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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