How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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