How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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