How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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