How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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