How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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