How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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