How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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