How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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