How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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