How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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