How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?

Because he's Haydn.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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