How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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