How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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