How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the baby corn ask the mother corn?

Where is pop corn?
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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