How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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