How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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