How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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