How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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