How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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