How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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