How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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