How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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