How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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