How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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How do chickens get strong?

Egg-cersize.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.

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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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