How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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