How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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