How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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