How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.

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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies

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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.

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