How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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