How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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