How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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