How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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