How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Televangelists screw in motels.
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