How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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