How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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