How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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