How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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