How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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