How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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