How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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