How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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