How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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