How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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