How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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