How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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