How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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