How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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