How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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