How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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