How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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