How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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