How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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