How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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