How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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