How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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