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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
It's fine, he woke up.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?
Juan by Juan.
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?
Holly Davidson.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?
A woolen jumper
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What is a horse's favorite sport?
Stable tennis
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?
Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.
That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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