How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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