How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Why did Mickey Mouse go to outer space?

He was looking for Pluto.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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