How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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