How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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