How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.

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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

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