How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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How do you cut a wave in half?

Use a sea saw.
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