How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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