How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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