How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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