How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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