How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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