How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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