How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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