How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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