How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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