How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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