How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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