How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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