How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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