How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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