How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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