How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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