How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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