How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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