How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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