How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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