How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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