How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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