How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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