How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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