How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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