How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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