How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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