How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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