How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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