How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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