How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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