How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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