How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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