How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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