How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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