How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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