How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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