How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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