How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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