How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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