How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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