How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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