How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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