How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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