How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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