How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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