How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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