How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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