How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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