How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is worse then having one baby screaming?

Two babies screaming!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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