How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why is b always cool?

Because it's between ac.
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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