How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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