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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?
You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date
but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?
Hiss-story
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?
Wet feet.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?
ICE ICE Baby......
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