How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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