How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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