How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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