How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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