How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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How many BMI employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They screw millions of bulbs every day, but when it comes to your bulbs, there's no record.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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