How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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