How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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