How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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