How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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