How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do camels use to hide themselves?

Camelflauge
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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