How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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