How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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