How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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