How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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