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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"
I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
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What is a cow's favorite place?
The mooseum.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing
but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"
The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?
His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
The caterer.
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