How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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