How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.

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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.

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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!

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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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