How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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