How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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