How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.

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What do you get if Bach falls off a horse but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?

Bach in the saddle again.

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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