How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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