How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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