How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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