How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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