How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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