How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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