How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many lesbians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and two to talk about how much better it is than with a man.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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