How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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