How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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