How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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