How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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