How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've got you covered!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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