How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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