How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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