How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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