How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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