How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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