How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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