How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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