How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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