How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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