How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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