How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If you don't know what introspection is,

you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.
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