How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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