How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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