How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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