How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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