How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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