How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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