How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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