How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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