How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What do lawyers and sperm have in common?

One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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