How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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