How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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