How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What did Delaware?

A New Jersey.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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