How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

They charged one - and let the other one off.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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