How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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