How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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