How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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