How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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