How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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