How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What did Michael Jackson say to Woody Allen?

Got two fives for a ten?
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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