How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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