How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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