How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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