How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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