How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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