How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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