How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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