How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!

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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many board meetings does it take to get a light bulb changed?

This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. It will be continued next week. Meanwhile . . .

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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.

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