How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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