How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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