How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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