How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common?

They are both rolling in the dough!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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