How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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