How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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