How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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