How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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