How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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