How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.

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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!

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