How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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